English Barbie Stereotypes

Now I know I have been out of the radar recently but this morning I got the urge to blog. Now my life has been filled with essays and work recently so I have nothing exciting to share, however, I thought i would share my newly found English Barbie Stereotypes. Would love to know what you think? I think I have got it quite spot on :) xx


Scouse Barbie:
This Barbie is only sold at football games. She comes with an assortment of hair curlers, a bottle of sparkling wine, fake eyelashes and re usable eyebrows including a new range of Scouse brows. Available with or without a season membership pass to a premiere league football team. Footballing, cheating husband Ken, comes with a Porsche and an STD.

South London Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with nunchucks , switchblade, Peugeot 306 with dark tinted windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with Cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. She has a restraining order out on boyfriend Ken. Available at participating Money Shops.

Chelsea Barbie:
This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes Benz 190 SL, a selection of Prada handbags and a selection of real fur jackets. She has a conjoint degree in Law and French, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac prescription and Botox, Starbucks mug and Blackberry internet/mobile phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing & is often 'working late'. Available at all good High St stores.

Essex Barbie:
This brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled stilettos, short dress and big hair style. Her ensemble includes fake eyelashes, fake fingernails, fake hair, strawberry lip gloss & a vajazzle. Comes with a years guarantee incase more plastic surgery is needed. Available in various shades of orange. Purchase her Convertible separately. Boyfriend Ken has three other girlfriends. Available with every Happy Meal at McDonalds.

Hull Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Primark jeans 2 sizes too small,"It's All About Me" T- shirt and a Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder. She has a carton of silk cut and comes with Metallica CD's. She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's Dream Council House on Hessle Road. Available from the Pound shop.

Brighton Barbie:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie To Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs Out at The local working mens club. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is Being phased out.

Council Estate Barbie:
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre bottle of vodka and a dole cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford transit van are sold separately. Available At Primark.

Cornwall Barbie:
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and wears Crocs with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional VW Beetle, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at the all good Garden Centres.