English Barbie Stereotypes

Now I know I have been out of the radar recently but this morning I got the urge to blog. Now my life has been filled with essays and work recently so I have nothing exciting to share, however, I thought i would share my newly found English Barbie Stereotypes. Would love to know what you think? I think I have got it quite spot on :) xx


Scouse Barbie:
This Barbie is only sold at football games. She comes with an assortment of hair curlers, a bottle of sparkling wine, fake eyelashes and re usable eyebrows including a new range of Scouse brows. Available with or without a season membership pass to a premiere league football team. Footballing, cheating husband Ken, comes with a Porsche and an STD.

South London Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with nunchucks , switchblade, Peugeot 306 with dark tinted windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with Cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. She has a restraining order out on boyfriend Ken. Available at participating Money Shops.

Chelsea Barbie:
This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes Benz 190 SL, a selection of Prada handbags and a selection of real fur jackets. She has a conjoint degree in Law and French, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac prescription and Botox, Starbucks mug and Blackberry internet/mobile phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing & is often 'working late'. Available at all good High St stores.

Essex Barbie:
This brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled stilettos, short dress and big hair style. Her ensemble includes fake eyelashes, fake fingernails, fake hair, strawberry lip gloss & a vajazzle. Comes with a years guarantee incase more plastic surgery is needed. Available in various shades of orange. Purchase her Convertible separately. Boyfriend Ken has three other girlfriends. Available with every Happy Meal at McDonalds.

Hull Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Primark jeans 2 sizes too small,"It's All About Me" T- shirt and a Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder. She has a carton of silk cut and comes with Metallica CD's. She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's Dream Council House on Hessle Road. Available from the Pound shop.

Brighton Barbie:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie To Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs Out at The local working mens club. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is Being phased out.

Council Estate Barbie:
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre bottle of vodka and a dole cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford transit van are sold separately. Available At Primark.

Cornwall Barbie:
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and wears Crocs with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional VW Beetle, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at the all good Garden Centres.

My own little Breaking Dawn experience

With the imminent release of the highly anticipated, new addition to the Twilight Saga, I have decided to share with you my own Twihard experience.

Now I have always been a fan of celebrities, and found myself in a que or two seeking out boy bands and soap stars. So imagine my excitement of being in Sydney, Australia and bumping into Mr Robert Pattinson, ok well technically I didn't actually bump into him, I don't think queuing for 3 hours would suggest a common bump and excited scream. Although in the end what happened was better than that.

The line was huge, however my celebrity stalker behaviour earned me a place at the front, and I just hoped I would get, even a, glimpse of my vampires love. After 3 hours everyone started arriving, the excitement grew and my hands began to shake. The rest was a bit of a blur, until a handsome man came up to me, smiled, wrote his name on a bit of paper and kissed me on the cheek. The legs wobbled and my body shook as I realised RPatz had just kissed me, epic moment if ever I had one.

After looking at a few more celebs, and vowing to never wash my cheek, I went home.

It took a day, but I eventually washed the cheek. :)

80s babyyyy

Being born in the 80's, and the end half of the 80's at that, I never got to experience the out there fashion and hip popping music of a pretty epic era. So when I was invited to Birmingham to attend an 80's inspired function, I jumped at the chance.

Hairspray at the ready, leg warmers packed the girls and I headed to the Raddison Blu hotel in Birmingham. A beautiful hotel. Although there is nothing better than turning up to your gorgeous hotel and getting a free upgrade into the presidential suite. The room was stunning, there was a kitchen, living room, 3 bathrooms and a WALK in wardrobe, less hotel more swanky apartment in Chelsea.

So after getting ready and having a few cheeky champagnes, whilst listening to some 80's beats to set the mood, we left for our function.

The loft penthouse is a wine bar in one of Birmingham's quieter streets, however that makes it more appealing, not to mention it's less que time at the bar.

When going to a private party, what are the two words that you spend hours hoping to hear?? Yes, Free bar! Nothing better than going home with a hangover and a purse still full of your hard earned pennies. Well to the free bar we headed, and many cocktails later we were busting out some 80's classics on the karaoke. I was defiantly born to dance, I was throwing shapes as good as Blondie.

The whole night was very enjoyable, and I may be re thinking my style in the future as I totally pull off 80's baby.

Below is a few pictures of our night, let me know what you think about my 80's look.

Until next time xxx

Finally something to write about.

I never really understood the word busy, until recently. I've always thought I was a fairy busy person, however not since the past few months has it really accelerated into overdrive. Juggling two jobs, a full time access course, not to mention a thriving social life and active gym boff addiction, has proved somewhat of a challenge. So I apologise for my lack of blogs, but I have finally learnt how to juggle and have throw blogging back into the mix, so let's see how we go.

This weeks I have never led me to Oxford and to an old school friends house. Now I would be lying if I said I had never had a photo shoot, not only do i have newspaper cuttings to prove otherwise, most of my profile pictures would suggest I am a frequent visitor in front of the lens of a camera. However who can turn down a photo session??

Now my dear friend Adrienne has recently set up a business called Buttercups Photography, and it is fabulous. Adi has always been a keen photographer, even when we were little she would be filming as I leapt about the room showing off my latest dance steps. So I was very keen to take her up on her offer as soon as she called.

After packing what felt like a hundred outfits, I took the train from London to Oxford to relieve my busy stressful life for a night.

The photos are amazing, we had such a great time. Adi made me feel really relaxed and it was like we were kids again.

My suggestion to all, if your having a crazy stressful time, don your glad rags, slap on the old war paint, along with a camera snapping friend, and you are all set for a giggle session with your girls.

Stay tuned folks, as next week I am in Birmingham for a charity event with the lovely Barbra Windsor. It is set to be a good one.

X

I have never, the beginning.

Yesterday was a bad day, you know one of those days that starts with a swear word and ends in a feeling of pure rage? Well I was certainly having one of them, and the worse part was, it had such great potential to be a good day. Then it dawned on me I was not quite ready to let my 'bad' day ruin what could be, so mid way down Camden high street, after yet another tourist had barged into me with their I LOVE LONDON bag hitting my Louis and causing yet another feel of rage bursting through my vains, I stopped, I looked, and I remembered where I was, and how lucky I was to be where others just dream.

It is so easy to give into our rage and become yet another Londoner with a frowning face and a bad attitude, but I will not let myself become one. So my moto, I have never........

Now you probably think I have never is some drinking game that unveils the sordid sex life of you and your friends, well in some circles it is, but not the one a play.

When you get the feeling that things are really not going as you hoped, you close your eyes, whisper the words 'I have never' and you think of the first thing that comes to your head, that you have never done. It can be anything.

Ok so as I mentioned before yesterday was a bad day, so after another torist related bashing, I closed my eyes and whispered I have never, now being in Camden and surrounded by ravers and every item of neon clothing imaginable I knew my 'I have never' was going to be special. So after several purchases of neon and one very comical 'God save the Queen' T-Shirt I called the girls.

Now being a party girl I've been to my fair share of parties, included a few very crazy raves, and it dawned on me I had never been to a silent party, or as they are commercially known, a silent rave.

Now it just so happened that down at Tower Bridge a incredible guy called Ben, was silent raving for four days all in the name of charity. So the girls and I donned our leg warmers and turned up at free2dance with our glow-sticks in tow for a night of silent raving. It was pretty amazing. It certainly turned my day around.

After four hours of dancing away to decades of dance hits, through our individual headsets, it was time to come home. On my way home I decided that there must be hundreds of people who need a little bit of random sparkle in their life, so I decided to write this blog, and each week I will fill you in on all my juicy 'I have never' stories and random adventures. I have added a few rave pics below, but until next time, remember I HAVE NEVER  xox